aaah....acceptance

what a word huh? acceptance? sometimes i think i have it, and as soon as i do, i really don't.  i must say the past few days have been so joyous.  i am really trying to grasp just living in the moment..dealing with what comes up, then moving on. life is life.
i went to my first wedding sober this weekend. man, that was one hell of a good time. so much fun. i have been having more and more fun sober, but this was a big event and it was fantastic. i had heard so many times in meetings that YOU CAN have fun in sobriety, and i believed because they believed. and now i am getting more sober references and it is absolutely FREEING. i am more extroverted sober than drunk!! who knew???
things at home have been up and down..but i am finding the beauty in being emotionally vulnerable. with that emotional vulnerability comes freedom and strength.  i am going to get hurt whether or not i'm sober. being sober though, and dealing with emotions/feelings allows me to grow, to learn and become more comfortable. if that isn't a gift, i don't know what is!!
i am so grateful. i really am. no matter what has happened since i sobered up, good, bad the ugly, i've been sober through it. i am facing fears and still walking tall.  i am slowly building some self worth, pride and esteem and damn it, it feels AMAZING and the best part is i am starting to believe i deserve it!!!!  i wish everyone could experience what it's like to be a member of AA. the things you learn, experience and feel are so amazing not to mention the friendships that are made. it's family. it's a bond that no one else understands. i am so lucky i have a place to go, to be heard, understood and comforted.