clamtastic

man do i feel like a flippin' two year old today. temper tantrum city. ick!! i wanna kick and scream and yell ' leave me the hell alone'!! i don't want drama. i don't want to feel like i'm being manipulated and i certainly don't want to deal with any of this bullshit.
you know, someone dies; it's hard, devastating, you name it. but it does not ever stop there. always something or someone pops up out of hole like an obnoxious gopher eating your newly planted garden of peace and acceptance. can't i just get through one freaking thing before another starts? life on life's terms...blah blah blah. yeah well life you can suck it. oh i'm grateful and i have a grateful heart, but i don't have time for bullshit, hearsay, drama and the like. nope. no fucking time. but look at me, stewing over it. let it go. let it go. i'd really like to, and hopefully i will, but right now it's sitting on me like a dirty diaper; heavy and stinky.
fucking people and personalities. fucking people not doing the right thing. fucking people putting me in a position of having to do the right thing (which is what i practice, but i don't like being forced) when no one else IS doing the right thing. waaaa waaaa..see what i mean, temper tantrum. my will and my resistance is at a high right now. i'm off the beam with my spirituality big time. at least i recognize (pop pop).  need to get down on my knees and pray a little bit harder, a little bit longer and be okay with the outcome. i can't control other people's personalities and their choices but i can let my higher power take care of mine. just haven't asked i guess. lazy. and i feel like being a brat. but again, my will, not my HPs.
do me a favor people, if you are ever in a situation where there is a death, a Will, other deceased relatives belongings in the mix, do the right thing. stop and think. if it isn't yours, if you didn't acquire it with the person that just passed, give those things to the right people. it has nothing do with money but everything to do with memories.
back on the ol' knees. knee pads for a bday gift would be greatly appreciated.