laugh laugh laugh away

not sure i have too much to say today.  overall i am feeling great. each day is a little more clear. each day gets a little teeny tiny bit better. the holidays don't sceeeere me anymore so that's cool.  i've got nothing to complain about. well, that's a big fat lie, i do, but anything i would complain about really is not important in the big picture we call life. i am pretty grateful these days, especially the small things. small things got lost when i was drunk so it's like rediscovering all these treasures. know what i am enjoying the most right now? laughing. i have been laughing a lot the past few days. laughing so hard it hurts. but it is real laughter. like i have said before, i would laugh before but my laughter now is different. i have no idear (rhode island accent) how to describe it really...except for that it's sincere, honest and for realsies.  and you know what else? i'm smiling at people. i feel like wheezer from steel magnolias when she says 'i saw drum eaton at the piggly wiggly today and i SMILED at the son of a bitch'.  i don't know if it's me doing the initial smiling or i am just now actually seeing people smile at me. or maybe it is because i am actually making eye contact. hell, i don't know. maybe i should keep a smile log (cause i have nothing else to do with my time) and make some kind of fancy chart of me to stranger smile ratios. i wonder what would happen if i smiled at someone and they didn't smile back and i just stood there smiling until they smiled?  i'd probably get my lights knocked out or hauled off to butler.  or maybe the person would just crack up at the sight of some dummy standing there with a big dopey grin staring at them.  hmmmm...food for thought.  i suppose that is it for now. gotta get back to laughing!