hmmmm...just thoughts

growth is sprouting. learning to handle situations in a different manor, even though my first instinct is my old behavior; i am catching myself.  i call that a bit of progress. baby steps.  i'm the 11mth old who's parent is holding their hands as the baby weebles and wobbles in front of them and occasionally falls down.  it is so okay though. i'm working my program the way i need to do it. taking suggestions from those i respect and get the gut feeling they are sincere and truly working the program too.
the realization that 90 days is great, but it is what it is; 90 days. this is a lifetime commitment one day at a time. while i applaud my journey so far, it will never be finished. that isn't to sound daunting or overwhelming, it is a fact.  as soon as i get lazy, my thinking changes and when your thinking changes you are on your way to a relapse...taking that drink is the last step to relapsing.  vigilance is a must and is a powerful tool. 
on to something completely different.  i have started training for a 5k for my job.  it is a bit hush hush right now until a few more kinks get worked out, but we are training. it is going to be a fundraiser.  i just can't stop laughing at me running a 5k (we were told no walking; boooo... :))...my first reaction was...awe crap. but truly, this is a great time for me to do this. it will give me another goal that is obtainable, work on getting me healthier and hopefully lose these last gazillion baby pounds i've been carrying for way too long.  so i'm going royal tenenbaum style...got myself some red track suit pants today..must find a matching jacket, then on to the sweat bands. if i'm going to be running, i'm going to have fun with this! training started yesterday and by the end of spring early/summer we will be running. i die thinking of me actually running...i look ridiculous, but i'll do anything to raise money for a baby who needs a lot of surgeries!
i am grateful for today...i am grateful for finding red track suit pants...i am grateful to be sober...and i'm grateful i didn't have to cook dinner and soccer was canceled.