i am glad to say today that i am feeling better. i talked to my sponsor for over an hour monday night about so many things, which of course was a relief. i went to a tuesday meeting and spoke through tears, but i had to get some of this pain off my chest.  more importantly i am happy to say that 50% of these feelings were due to hormones. cause yup, i got my p.  i know, tmi, right? but seriously, i forgot that they are regulating too, along with everything else in my body.  while i still have some of those same feelings i was talking about, i most definitely feel more hopeful and stronger. stupid jerk hormones. well...that's all i've got for right now. the exciting life i live! wahoo. but hey, at least i'm sober. :)